By INGRID HUTTON

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Convert or we blow your head off. You decide.

It was not a tough call for Fox News correspondent Steve Centanni.

To stay alive, he had to declare: “There is no God but Allah.”

But back stateside, out of the grips of the not-so-nice ambassadors for Islam, the would-be convert is wondering if he is a genuine Muslim.

As he told reporters, “I don’t know enough about Islam to know if it was official or recognized.”

So should he hit the prayer rugs and start following his faith, commit religious treason by not praying to Allah, or slit his wrists and go for the 72 virgins?

In “I Converted at Gunpoint …,” the Slate’s “The Explainer” (http://www.slate.com/id/2148747) sets out to solve Centanni’s vexing question, asking “Well, is he a Muslim or isn’t he?”

But instead of offering peace of mind for the spiritually bewildered Centanni, “The Explainer” does little more than confuse.

It was as if he simply looked up “convert to Islam” on Wikipedia and copy/pasted what popped up, leading to a long, disjointed list of facts.

The Explainer’s principal focus was on the procedural process in Islamic-conversion ceremonies. This varies among different sects.

Some Muslims believe taking a shower is a necessary step; others require the soon-to-be convert to take a new Muslim name. Still others believe changing a given name is wrong. There is no analysis or explanation in the piece. It is simply a laundry list.

And in a complete non sequitor, “The Explainer” adds that Muslims making the pilgrimage to Mecca need to obtain a certificate attesting to their faith. This has nothing to do with the question at hand unless Centanni’s captors laminated a Muslim ID card for him before his release.

In straining through “The Explainer’s” soup, one notices a common step that occurs in all conversion ceremonies, the shehada oath: “I testify that there is no God but Allah. I testify that Mohammed is the messenger of Allah.”

Centanni was videotaped reciting this, and at least for some Muslims, that proves he is now Muslim. Even “The Explainer” states, “As a general rule, saying [the shehada] aloud is enough to convert to Islam.”

But he also points out that most Muslims would say he isn’t one, “because the Koran forbids forced conversions.” Centanni says a gun was pointed at his head.

Yet the videotape shows no gun, and the terrorists testify in the video that he converted “without any pressure.” As we all know, the virgin-seeking terrorists are truthful sorts.

Perhaps it is this simple: Simply reciting words aloud cannot make someone a Muslim if the person does not believe.

If a gun was pointed at his head — and that beats a steak knife pointed to the neck — Centanni would have said anything to stay alive. If so, he would not be a Muslim.

That analysis is obviously too clear for “The Explainer,” because he would not be “The Explainer” if he did not traffic in obtuseness.

Amusingly enough, terrorists who believe in gunpoint-conversions may be undermining their goal to “slay the unbelievers” and establish Islamic world rule.

If more and more Americans were forced to convert to Islam, they no longer would qualify as enemies.

Perhaps that Explains why Centanni and his cameraman were spared a bullet and instead set free.